We need to stop being part of the problem and become part of the solution to our dating woes.We’ll never be able to control the actions of others, but we’ll at least know that we’re being honest, direct and kind in our own relationships. Equity, respect, chivalry, honesty—none of this is too much to ask for, and we’re all capable of doing our part to set the standard for our dating experiences.So if you ask us out, do so because you’d like to get to know more about us. I’m sitting here, rolling my eyes pretty hard that this even has to be explained. It’s not 1951, but chivalry is one of those qualities that is timeless. We all enjoy hearing that we look attractive or have a great personality.
Thirsty Guy: “Damn girl, you look fine as hell with yo’ sexy self! Clearly, his thirst has clouded his judgment because he thinks his compliment is respectful.Nice Guy: No matter what you think is “normal” regarding texting or calling, it is okay for him to contact you that same day he gets the digits.But, chances are he’s showing you he actually cares about you. Nice Guy: When a man is being chivalrous he wants to show you he appreciates you. Whether he buys you coffee, a rose, or treats you to a nice meal, let him express how he cares about you in the manner that he enjoys. Chances are he’s so enamored by your beauty that he’s probably a little nervous about your date.Thirsty Guy: “Good morning sexy, what are you wearing? Thirsty Guy: On a first date he buys you lingerie or a sex toy, or takes you to a porn convention. Let him compliment you and don’t forget to say thank you.With this in mind, it’s important to remember that the basic rules of common courtesy and interaction are still great guidelines for online dating.
We can take old-fashioned chivalry and respect and combine it with an appreciation for gender equity. We can try to genuinely connect with others and remember that they’re trying to get to know us, not impress us.There should never be the assumption that we should pay for a date with our bodies. For example, if I say that I’m at the gym, there’s no need to ask for a hot, sexy, sweaty, cute gym pic. And I’m just not the kind of woman who takes pictures of myself at the gym.And there should never be verbal abuse that results from refusing to participate in sexting or phone sex or an assignation of any kind. That is nearly a direct quote from one of my matches. I’m actually there to work out, to get in good shape, to improve myself.Fast-forward several months later, and here I am again, feeling a need to revisit this topic.First, let me preface this by saying that many of my dating experiences have been positive.I’ve met some wonderful men and enjoyed some interesting dates.