As adults we are entitled to do this until we get it right, but we should try to avoid exposing children to our dating disasters.Related to this is the second main reason—when a parent adopts the philosophy that “My kids and I come as a package deal.
Author of Smart Parenting During and After Divorce.
My rule of thumb is that divorced and separated parents should keep children out of their social lives until they have been separated or divorced for a period of at least two years and you have known your potential new partner for at least a year. New Partners You might think your new partner is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but at one time you thought the same thing about the person whose name is on the bottom of the restraining order you just got.
If you think you want to be with me, my kids have to approve.” This is a perfectly reasonable philosophy, but it must be employed later rather than sooner.
You should figure out whether the person is worth having your children evaluate them first.
There is no guarantee your child will ever stop wanting this, but in most cases children will want it less after a few years or at least accept the reality that it’s not going to happen.
Once you have passed the two-year mark of being out of your old relationship, and once you know your new partner for a year, you can start talking to your children about meeting your boyfriend or girlfriend.
It’s hard to resist the power of someone who not only makes you feel good about yourself but reinforces your negative feelings about your ex.
With all of that conflict to concentrate on (especially if both of you are going through divorces), who has time to create trouble in the new relationship?
Finally, it might be very tempting to bring your little children into bed with you and your new partner to snuggle or watch television, but I have seen this cause problems between mums and dads who become furious at the thought of their children climbing into bed with someone who is a “stranger” to them and cuddling.
Before you permit your child to do this, ask yourself it is worth the legal fees you will have to spend in order to convince someone that you think there is no harm in it.
If your children are old enough to understand what a boyfriend or girlfriend is, don’t beat around the bush.