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As to your flurry of questions at the end of your post: you should not let your esteem get battered in online dating.

There’s way too much volume to take any interaction personally.

Ask them what their favorite character is on a TV show you both watch, mention that you can play guitar on Expert for all of Rock Band 1 & 2, ask them what they thought of Zombieland.The best way to a geek or nerd guy’s heart is to connect with them about something that most girls don’t have a clue about.Don’t take that too harshly: we ALL have a disconnect between our private vision of ourselves and others’ perception of us. They can state all day long about how they’re looking for someone to watch Battlestar Galactica and play Xbox with them, but, like most guys, they’re powerless in the face of a Maxim model.And, as I think this through, I would guess that this is going to be your biggest uphill climb.’Without talking to you or evaluating your online dating profile, it’s impossible for me to tell you specifically what you’re doing wrong.

What I can say definitively is that there is some sort of disconnect between how you see yourself and how these guys see you.An added bonus — you can use said knowledge as a bartering tool. Whether he’s into video gaming, role playing, or building new computers from scratch — your geeky husband has interesting hobbies of his own. They spend hours thinking up alternate universes with detailed character names and descriptions for role playing games, and some of them even design and build original video games and computer programs.This works out great because now you have extra time on Tuesday nights for a Netflix marathon or a night out with the girls while your man runs his weekly Dn D session. You can bet that your Christmas gift isn’t going to be some lame infomercial product or random gift certificate at the mall. Not to worry—he’ll be able to see some potential in that run down Cape you can barely afford.4. Speaking of gifts and holidays — your man will never forget them!Yet, when I email these guys, I either get no response or I get one of those responses that are obviously just them trying to be polite…and then they go back to complaining that girls don’t message them. And how does a girl keep this from bursting her self esteem every single time it happens?I’m no super model, but I’m decent looking and I always fit, personality-wise, what the guy says he wants in his profile. Dear Patti, You’ve pretty much summed up the dating process: The people I like don’t like me. Our entire single lives are spent rejecting people who like us, and chasing people who don’t.