Some examples: Custom: Studying Family Purity laws as a way to prepare for Jewish married life. Reflect on what having a Jewish home will mean to you.What will be different after you get married, in terms of how you live out our Jewish lives together?
How will you deal with wedding finances and other decisions?If you’ve done a lot of spiritual and emotional preparation, and you’re still not taking the plunge, you may want to ask yourself to look honestly at what’s holding you back.I have put those important particularities aside for the sake of offering some general suggestions guided inspired by ancient Jewish life and wisdom.I do that I hope they will be useful *I use the term “Married” for simplicity.Some couples can figure out if they’re right for one another quickly. The answer to your questions is that there is no answer to your question.
As a rabbi, I have married couples who became engaged within months of first meeting one another, and also couples who dated, exclusively, for four years before the huppah.
Ideally, the couple would be able to determine together when they are prepared – or prepared enough(! For me, engagement customs are like wedding gifts from Jewish tradition to modern couples.
Every traditional custom (whether we practice it or not) invites a different series of questions for reflection and growing together as a couple.
Are you prepared to take one another’s feelings concerns about this as seriously as our own?
Are you committed to going though wedding planning with as much patience and good humor as you can garner?
Instead, non-binding engagement celebrations began to emerge during which couples often signed tenaim (conditions) which stated their intention to marry and the conditions to be met in the event that one of the couple broke the engagement.