Dating nightmare

) So, what I did in this section was tick things I had maybe done once. Sure, aged 15 on a Mark Warner holiday, I even ‘drop skiiied.’ Tick. Sure, at school I did Art A level, and got an A grade. Now some of the profiles looked like they had been professionally written (I have heard you can pay for ghost writers to do this)…they were not real – and read like a self help book on relationships.For example, one man wrote: “I have a need to laugh regularly and don’t take life or myself too seriously unless required.

But realising I was quite up for some excitement in my personal life, I decided to give Internet dating a go. And, what I have discovered is, and didn’t know, is that online dating has as many rules as physical dating, it’s just they are different.And so I registered on a site, and paid for one of those three month subscriptions. On that occasion, I didn’t pay – instead I went on for free and just got spammed with emails from unsuitable matches in places like Afghanistan on a daily basis, and couldn’t actually contact anyone myself. I hit my first stumbling block when I had to fill in a massive section on my hobbies.This included questions as to whether I enjoyed snowboarding, hiking, waterski-ing, bridge, poker, the list went on.At that point I suddenly froze, as I realised that much as I consider myself to be interesting, I actually don’t have any hobbies at all!As a child, indeed, I had weekly ballet, piano and tennis lessons.

At university I ran the Japanese society, the shiatsu society, directed and acted in plays and wrote for the student newspapers.

One positive was most of the British men on the site seemed to like cats, unlike their Indian counterparts. There was one guy in Palestine, who wrote, “It may be a strange place to be, constantly getting fired by bullets, but I am looking for a woman who…” I was like ‘Whoah…” An Indian guy had written: “I am not looking for a party type, but a stay-at-home homely girl.” Anyway, the worst part about it was, that like real dating, if you don’t play the game, you are shafted.

I had thought online dating would be different, an easy way out, the way to get 100 men messaging you in one go. In my case, straight away I marked 30 men as my ‘favourites’, switched the computer off and went on the next day.

It kind of got worse as after seven days, I had received just one message.

It was (I am not joking) 5,000 words long and a description of this male individual, with no questions directed at me.

Sure, I go and see plays at the Prithvi Theatre sometimes, I even went to see a pianist perform at the NCPA last Friday, so there is an element of culture in my life, but otherwise my lack of hobbies is disappointing. They also incidentally described themselves as ‘above average’ and ‘attractive’ in the looks department.