When I'm out and about talking to singles, I often meet a lot of women who I would consider to be "Alpha females": opinionated, successful, dominant, like to be in control, strong personality.
When the topic of dating comes up, these women lament that they can't find strong, successful men to date, that they are tired of dating men they can walk all over, that they want men to stand up and take the reins.
A lot of dating coaches will tell strong, successful women to tone down their dominant nature if they want to date and have a relationship with an Alpha male, and that can be an effective strategy, especially in the early stages of dating when you don't want to come off as an aggressive, control-freak.
I get that women's ascendancy in the working world has perhaps made the fairer sex more aggressive and "masculine," but I also see plenty of women in high-level positions who demonstrate more "feminine" qualities in the workplace.
So could it be that many of these strong-minded women just happen to naturally be more dominant types?
When I finally accepted this, I met the love of my life. Now, does all of this mean I'm encouraging strong, successful women to date doormats who never take initiative? A self-respecting man should have his own life and have his own opinions and be able to stand up for himself.
But a relationship with that Alpha male who many strong women have always fantasized would bring them happiness perhaps isn't always the best complement to their dominant nature.
I listen to their dating stories about seemingly all-around decent men who just don't measure up to who and what they are searching for.
I see these women fighting against their very nature, the core of who they are.
On a personal note, I wouldn't say I'm 100 percent Alpha, but I certainly have some Alpha qualities.
For years, I fought against the idea that perhaps I wasn't meant to be with an Alpha male, a la Don Draper.
Although the 30 woman (worn out/settled down/covered in parmesan and kid puke, if Bryony’s column is anything to by) may have given up her high maintenance ways, we 20-somethings are more demanding than ever.
I was recently described as being “not girlfriend material” and I blame the fact that I'm an Alpha woman. I'm also hard to impress, high-maintenance, volatile, easy to bore, and - shockingly, I know - single.
But to be defensive and standoffish comes naturally to an Alpha.