Having said all of that, here is where the problem comes in and where the sistas disappoint me.
When a man first meets you, he has no idea on what to expect from you.
My grandmother would tell me this often when she was bestowing jewels of advice to me in regards to love and dealing with men. This love mantra if you will, is what assisted me in deciding who I should continue to date and whose time on my clock has just ended. This is why when I hear other Black women make comments that Black men are more willing to treat White women better while dating and in a relationship than they would Black women, I have to offer the screw face.
She also often instructed me to never beg a man to love me. Now, this topic is an onion of sorts because it is packed with so many layers that I even had trouble deciding how I should attack it.
If you refuse or are too afraid to be vocal and to back up the vocals with action, then you are to blame. Did I just say that a woman being mistreated by a man is not the man’s fault? [pullquote_right]When a man first meets you, he has no idea on what to expect from you.[/pullquote_right] Let’s dissect this whole inequality among Black and White women from Black men. I am not blind to the ways of our society and I hope that you aren’t either otherwise you are going to have a hard life.
For one, our society grooms African Americans from the day we are born to believe that White women are superior in all facets than women of color.
People treat you the way you teach them to treat you.
I think that before any sista can complain about how she is treated by a Black man, she must first decide what it is about her that would allow him to mistreat her.They are protected by society and appreciated more overall for their contributions. So, a Black man who has grown up in our world would have a hell of a battle in not falling victim to the guidelines that society has laid before him his whole life.Having a White woman on your arm equals success and achievements.So, on a subconscious level, Black men are groomed to be more appreciative towards White women then they would a Black woman.Therefore by default, treating a White woman a hell of a lot better than they would a Black woman. The one about teaching someone how to treat you and making those guidelines defined.For Green, it was his only second ever encounter with racism in 20 years‘I am dating a man who helps me buy groceries, wash laundry, and even clean my apartment even though he has other things to do, works 40 hours a week, and it’s not his job.