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Now, though, rom hackers are starting to write backstories for their hacks.

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It turns out that Girly's lover, Mong, was transformed into a monster. I'd hate to think we just meandered into a cave and spent twenty minutes sorting out the problems of a couple transsexual ghosts if it wasn't an important part of the story.And he was transformed into a white guy, because how else could Koko justify cramming "negro" into his storytelling? "Wasn't there a baby involved in the original Willow," you might be asking.You step into the bloody BVDs of Noball, a once ball-ful warrior whose balls were co-opted by B. Perhaps sensing that the average rom hack player might not have the attention span for an action RPG like Willow, Koko decided to tweak the programming a little.For starters, Noball starts off at level 5 instead of 1, putting you almost a third of the way to the level cap, and giving you a nice power boost.It's a journey fraught with danger in the form of flying tampons... And land-bound mermaids with nipples the size of dinner plates!

But Noball won't be alone in his journey for long, no no.T has used his "nutsac magic" to give the Quaker's father "Diabetus".You know what that means: Don't pretend you came into a rom hack review and didn't expect to see something about Wilford Brimley.An unfortunate name for a baby, but when your surname is "Retard", where do you draw the line?And really, is the name "Ugly Retard" any more awful than Bronx Mowgli, or Pilot Inspektor? At this point, things start to get a little complicated: Noball has to summon the two "condoms" that govern the universe and combine their powers to form the "crust of the condoms". What if I told you that we've got ourselves a one-way ticket to Fuckville? At some point, the infant savior is going to need access to this ancient land.I think they expanded upon that somewhat in the novelization.