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Most people who meet me find me outgoing and confident, but put me in front of a pretty girl and I just don’t know how to act.

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If anything, hot girls are probably even more insecure than you because of the cultural pressure to be hot all the time, and from, you know, relentless objectification. The trick to convincing yourself that you’re confident is largely mental. Abolish whatever negative self-talk is lurking and replace it with a compliment, even if it feels a little silly or strange. While you’re working on building up your confidence, start talking to the pretty girl you have your eye on (start talking to anyone, really. But don’t talk to her with the intention of seducing her, that’ll just make you anxious. (Feel free to use any of the advicey questions I mentioned in last week’s column on winning over mom.)Hi, I see you all the time. Find out her name and what she does when she’s not in school/work.

Tell yourself how awesome you are every day and eventually you’ll start to believe it. Make a list with positive traits you’d like to embody, such as, “I am confident. Start simply by saying hi the next time you see her and follow it up with a short conversation starter. My ex-girlfriend wanted me to get one, but I wasn’t sure it’d look good on me. (This one’s nice because it also tells her you like girls, in case she was unsure.)Hi, can I get your opinion on something? You can do it because you’re cool and savvy, right?

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