Noticing that there was little in the way of practical guidance for modern, devout women looking for a spouse, and thinking that her own hard-won experience might help other Catholic women in the same predicament, Bonaccorso turned that knowledge into a book: Amy Bonaccorso: I felt very strongly that a lot of single Catholic women were getting unrealistic advice on dating. John Mc Closkey to pass on the lessons I learned to other women.
I wanted to inject some realism into the highly idealized Catholic dating scene to help single women reach their life goals. The books and articles I read in the past on dating were typically by clergy, lifelong singles, or married people of other generations.
I also wanted to help women weed out church jerks (Chapter 9 — “When Holy Rollers Don’t Measure Up”).
Not every Catholic woman can find a relationship that follows the formulas and scripts, and I thought these women needed a book.
And some girls are just deflated and need some encouragement.
Chapter 1, “Living in the Real World,” drives that point home.
They have to understand that most devout Catholic women are very genuine about their desire to date chastely.
Men also need to know that some things never change.
Even if you share expenses later, pay for the first date and don’t be a miser. I know people are into long, drawn-out engagements these days, but to make a woman wait too long is insensitive.
Checklists quickly become limiting and cause people to lose sight of the fact that they really need someone who shares their core values, has good human virtues, and takes commitment seriously.
Just because a guy goes to daily Mass or knows his theology like the back of his hand doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll be a good boyfriend or husband.
The most devout Catholic men I dated misrepresented their commitment to chastity.
I always resented their dishonesty more than the fact that they didn’t truly share my values.
Now, both daters probably have jobs or budding careers, and so women can no longer expect men to carry the financial burdens they once did.