Because this is something that stands out about this rubber band theory – much like when we’re involved with Mr Unavailable’s and assclowns, this is about doing things on their terms and jumping to their beat and relationships require a bit more than that.
If you have higher self-esteem, not only will you make better love choices, but you’ll be confident enough to recognise that when your partner does appear to ‘retreat’, it’s not down to something that you have ‘done’ and you can see the wood for the trees enough to realise that it could be any number of things or he might just have ‘things on his mind’.You will also have your own healthy desire for independence and autonomy.The key now is what does he do when you don’t play ball? Does he pretend to adapt and then slowly slip back into the cycle?If it’s genuinely a case of him just needing a little space, try to step back and leave him to it without being resentful and see what happens.theory that are all men are like rubber bands because they have an intimacy cycle that needs them to stretch (retreat) and then eventually spring back when they want to get closer can be a dangerous belief to have that will cause women to overinest in inappropriate relationships in the belief that poor behaviour is just ‘normal’.
I’m a firm believer that with the type of modern day relationships that we have which are fraught with commitment issues, emotional unavailability, assclownary, and complications like technology such as online dating and text messaging, that subscribing to this theory is like giving a man carte blanche to take the p*ss.
Neutrinos are generated in the Sun and other stars and were also a product of the Big Bang.
They pass through your house, your body and even the Earth constantly.
The reality is that whilst we all have our off days and can be impacted by stress, tiredness, and a variety of factors that may not actually be related to our partners, it shouldn’t be a ‘chore’ to be in a relationship and you shouldn’t really have to be at the mercy of some guys emotional menstrual cycle that seems to come about when it all gets a little much and he wants to go away so he can feel the desire to come back.
As I said in part two, there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to maintain their independence and autonomy but there is a big difference between this and actually using the ‘intimacy cycle’ to edge out of the relationship or ensure that it’s solely on your terms.
Fear derails relationships and also creates bad ones but we also need to recognise that sometimes our internal fears can have us either believing that someone is retreating when they are not, or can cause us to believe that they’re going to retreat so that we behave in ways that bring about the outcome and create the self-fulfilling prophecy.