Men can read a woman’s profile, feel like they connected in an endless number of meaningful ways, send her an incredible message detailing these connections (without coming on too strong) and still fail to receive a response from her.
Because there’s no way to know whether a woman will find a man attractive or not, every single message he sends out is a gamble.
How you decide to respond will depend on your ultimate goal.
Most dating sites offer you the ability to send some flirty, noncommittal messages to the men you find attractive.
The most common and suggestive of these is the “wink.” When you choose to “wink” at a man, that man will be notified how a woman picked him out and showed interest in him, and if he opens the “wink,” he will see you were the one who sent it. Can sending a wink actually ruin your chances with a guy? They might not like a wink as much as they like an actual message from a woman, but a wink is better than receiving nothing from a woman.
And women on dating websites make this matter even worse because, as a general rule, women don’t send out a lot of first messages on these platforms.
Most women are too busy responding to the flood of messages they’ve received to spend too much time browsing for new men to talk to, and women have at least as many problems as men when it comes to marshaling together the nerve to actually send out a full message to someone they find attractive.
I would recommend you read that article first as I cover the dynamics of winking in detail there.
On to the questions: My opinion on this one is simple: absolutely.
Haven’t you wondered why the guy in Portland, Oregon thinks he could successfully date a woman in Florida? If you’re really interested you should write an email and tell him.
In my last post I talked about online dating photos and how to use them to your best advantage. This guy might have winked at several women so you should move quickly if you want to play. However you decide to respond, take the time to check out all the details of his profile first.
If he’s contacting you, I think the man should drive the conversation so I recommend giving him the chance to do just that.
An exception to this is if you’re an assertive woman who doesn’t mind taking control. I suspect not too many women of that temperament are asking this question in the first place, though.
And when a man receives a wink from a woman, he learns, beyond all doubts, that she is interested in him and he can send her a message with confidence. And for many women, “a wink or nothing at all” accurately defines how they approach online dating.